So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops