You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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