How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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12/23/2012

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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