Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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