Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Pickle

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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