A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Pickle

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops