your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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read this sentence again.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Hello penis

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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