What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops