what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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