A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops