What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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