Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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