A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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God is real.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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