A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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