What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Whats green? The color green.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Man U

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops