Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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i saw amango it splootered

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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