I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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