One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops