Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops