Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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