If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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