Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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