God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

FOX News: Fair and balanced

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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