Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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My mom

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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