Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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Drew Knowles is gay

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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