How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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