What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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