What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops