Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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