Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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i saw amango it splootered

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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