Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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