Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Ehh

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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meatspin.fr

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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