Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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