whats green and lives in the water

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

Knock Knock.

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...