What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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