Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Small Penis.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops