thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

12/23/2012

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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