Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Skinny people fart less.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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