What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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