- Anti Joke

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What did the man with no head say to the women?

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

What's upside down? umop apisdn

How many light bulbs? 1

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.