Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops