Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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cool

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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