Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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