what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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