Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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123 f*ck off

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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