Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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my penis

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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