What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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