Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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