If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops