If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

Justin beiber comment if u get it

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

What's upside down? umop apisdn

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...