Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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David Cameron

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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