My spelling is horrible

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Golf.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops