- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

What did Reed read? A. Read?

Chris is hairy

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops