How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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