A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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