The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

womens rights.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

roses are black violets are black i am blind

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...