How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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hi

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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