A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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can you pass the soap?

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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