How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

No antijoke here.

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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