Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Pain Olympics.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops