Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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