My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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