What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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