Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

Katy Perry

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

There once was this guy and he fell down

why did the baby have a hole in its head? it was shot

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

i wonder who made this website? a human

Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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