There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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