A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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How old are you? 7

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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