Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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