What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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you will like this because i am black.

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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