Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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