Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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