What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

A dancer walks into a barre

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

What's better than a stick? A stone

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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