"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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