What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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