have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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