whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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God is real.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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