I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops