In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -22

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops