- Anti Joke

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.