What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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