What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

Actually it was me Josh brown

Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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