Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...