What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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